BE MY VALENTINE? NOT!
Divorce + Valentine’s Day = Tough
(These Strategies Really Work!)
Valentine’s Day looms large in February. Ads for flowers, jewelry, chocolates abound. Hearts are everywhere. For those going through Divorce, this is a really tough time of year. What can you do about it?
- Volunteer. Sign up to read to kids, deliver meals to shut-ins or bring treats to the teachers. When you are going through a divorce, it is so easy to get caught up in the “poor me” syndrome. Take a deep breath, step back and look for opportunities to help someone else.
- Adjust Your Attitude. Divorce is not death, although it might feel like it right now. Divorce is an unfortunate fact of life. If you can face it head on, you can move past it.
- Learn Something. When you are in the middle of a divorce, you need something to remind you that you are smart and worthy. Sign up for a class in something you want to learn.
- Engage with the World. Send a Card (or two or five or ten). Remember how exciting those valentine cards were in grade school when you got to pull them out of your little box? Divorce does not mean the end of joy or the end of friendships. Tell someone you love them, or appreciate them, or wish them well.
- Name twenty things you absolutely love. Go ahead, write them down. Love Louboutin shoes? Love NASCAR? Love pizza? It is hard to focus on your divorce when you are focusing on the things you love.
- Try a Fresh Tradition. Say you and your ex spent every Valentine’s Day at that special restaurant and you can’t even drive by without getting depressed. This year, pull out your bucket list and try something you would not have done with your ex. Divorce is not just the end of a marriage, it is the beginning of a new chapter in your life with new memories and new beginnings.
- Inhabit the Moment. Literally. Spend the entire day in the moment. Don’t think about the what if’s and the how will I’s. You can’t do anything about yesterday or tomorrow anyway, so enjoy today.
- Nix the Negative Talk. Do not let one negative word about your ex creep past your lips.
- Enjoy Your Children and Your Family. Divorce is hard them, too. Cater a special dinner or treat (have it catered if you are not up to the challenge) to show them how important they are.
- Start Something. Divorce can make everyone aware things that are broken: the marriage is broken; the bank account is broken; the home is broken. Spend some time at the hardware store, craft store, quilt shop or hobby shop. Choose a project and get started.
Divorce is painful, no doubt about it. Whether you want the divorce or don’t want the divorce, it is painful. The most difficult thing and the most important thing is taking the steps necessary to move forward. The tips above are a great way to spend Valentine’s Day. Come to think of it they are a great way to spend every day.
At the Bob Leonard Law Group, we will help you with all of your family law needs, including divorce. Call today 817-336-8500.